When I grow up I want to be Ron Burgundy

September 11, 2005

Best of Burgundy!

“Great Odin’s Raven!”

“Son of a bee-sting!”

“Knights of Columbus, that hurt!”

“By the beard of Zeus!”

“Sweet Lincoln’s mullet!”

“(to baxter the dog) You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair”

“What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole… wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Heck, I’m not even mad; that’s amazing! How ‘bout we get you in your p.j.’s and we hit the hay”

“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly..”

“I wanna say something. I’m gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don’t, send it right back. I want to be on you”

“I’m very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany”

“The only way to bag a classy lady is to give her two tickets to the gun show… [kisses his biceps] and see if she likes the goods”

“I believe you have an absolutely breathtaking heiney. I would like to become friends with it”

“I’m gonna punch you in the ovary, that’s what I’m gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker”

Ron Burgundy: You are a smelly pirate hooker!
Veronica Corningstone: You look like a blueberry!
Ron: Why don’t you go back to your home on Whore Island!
Veronica: Well you… have bad hair!

Ron: You’ve got a dirty whorish mouth.

Veronica Corningstone: Oh, Ron, there are literally thousands of men that I should be with instead, but I am 72 per cent sure that I love you!

Brian Fantana: It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon; it’s illegal in nine countries. It’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good
Ron Burgundy: [after smelling the Sex Panther cologne] It’s a formidable scent. It stings the nostrils. Why, to be honest with you, Brian, it smells like pure gasoline.
Brian: They’ve done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
Ron: That doesn’t make sense.

Veronica Corningstone: My God, what is that smell? Oh!

Brian Fantana: (wearing ‘sex panther’ ) That’s the smell of desire my lady
Veronica: God no, it smells like, like a used diaper… filled with… Indian food! Oh, excuse me
Brian: You know, desire smells like that to some people
Garth Holliday: What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair

News Station Employee: it Smells like Bigfoot’s dick!

Brian Fantana: People call me the Bry man; I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes - my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang.

Ed Harken: Apparently, my son was on something called “Acid,” and was shooting a bow and arrow into a crowd.

Ed Harken: [on the phone with his son] Put down the gun, and let the marching band go! We’ll play it off as a prank.

Ron: You stay classy, San Diego. I’m Ron Burgundy?
Ed Harken: Dammit! Who typed a question mark on the Teleprompter?

Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly… I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron: It did, didn’t it?

Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron: Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.