February 27, 2006
Tough as Rambo I tell ya….
You see, May 25th 2005, when Liverpool came back to win the champions league in inexplicable glorious fashion after being 3-0 down at halftime – I had good money on them at 10-1 placed sveral rounds earlier in a rush of the heart rather than mind – as God’s honest truth, we really didn’t look like we had a chance in hell – I forgot how much exactly was placed and then once the fervor of victory had passed I realised that I was suddenly in the money – money which was unexpected, unplanned and therefore available for the extravagant spending – and so became the Champions League Chair Of Comfort – he who has faith against insurmountable odds, shall be both victorious and comfortable. Oh yes.
Greatest purchase I’ve ever made.
And one that is truly paying for itself during these times of not being able to sit up properly due to this hoofing great sharkbitelike scar on the side of me.
I went to see the nurse to have the final staples removed today – there where 6 left – she took out 21 of them last week – when removed, they pinch like getting shot with a pellet gun from 50m – not too bad as punishments go, but you would still rather avoid it – 6 staples wouldn’t be much to complain about, however, one of the buggers had managed to get lost halfway into the scar (gruesome, nasty, I know) and the nurse, sweet old lady, had to literally dig around with these fecking steel pliers she had – it felt just the same either way whether she got it or not – so after initially getting by the first few attacks with a bit of wincing and gritted teeth, you get to the point where you want to indulge in a bit of exasperated cursing to help you through – problem was I didn’t want to offend the woman – so had to resort to cursing without actually swearing – which, in the spirit of Anchorman, can lead to some interesting combinations once you get past the usual “In the name of all that is Holy”:
Sweet Jesus’s playpen!
By the Bells of St.Christopher!
St Damien’s Trellis!
Cowpoke of Georgia!
Red Fire’s of Hadeese!
Gargantuan Yak!
(Please feel free to come up with your own exclamations in the comments section)
After she had finished I returned home all patched up with instruction to start trying to walk around a bit along with being signed off for another – yes another! – two weeks off work!
So tomorrow I’m going to try walking to the pub – and staying there – whisky is good for wounds – I saw Rambo use it – poured it on, set it on fire, winced a bit, sealed the wound and was off and running fighting the Russians seconds later – I may just drink it instead though....
Spo | February 27, 2006
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