Taxi Tuyen “rut tot trung” (very good egg)

July 8, 2005

Taxi Tuyen “rut tot trung” (very good egg)

Hanoi Tuyen was the taxi equivalent of the lost city of gold – difficult to find and full of riches. He struck me as a fairly well educated man, not just because of his English ability, but also due to his wealth of knowledge and opinion on all matters this earth had to offer – perhaps this is true for all taxi drivers, they are a indeed, a special breed - apart from the one who took me back from a drunken night in Winchester and tried to tell me he could provide home made M-16 assualt rifles - I suppose he was special as well actually, but not in a good way.

I often wonder if i should’ve been a taxi driver – think of the gibber grind possibilities! There they are locked in there until destination is reached, allowing you to get a real grind on – combine this with my “alternative” sense of direction and you’ve got long-term-hurt-locker-grind-potential. Although recent events relating to me and cars do suggest that perhaps this is not a good idea.

I didn’t have a motorbike in Hanoi (I certainly would of killed myself) and took Taxi’s or motorcylce Xe Om’s everywhere I wanted to go - the average 15-20 minute taxi journey costing a dollar - but even though the price was cheap I still really took huge offense to those drivers that took me the long way round to boost the meter up a bit - it meant that you could never really sit back and enjoy the road (there was always something going on worth watching) - constantly checking the turnings to make sure the driver was not trying to pull a fast one - its the principle of being tricked and insulted - you’d pay the tip to the amount he bumps the meter if he he just didn’t try to fuck you in the first place.

When I met Tuyen it was class, as I could always ring him to drive me about I’d never have to worry about over charging and he knew plenty of Hanoi’s hidden secrets - he was also a good old boy. He asked my opinion of his business card, I explained that it should say “English Speaking taxi driver” rather than “Speaking English taxi driver”.

Unfortunately Tuyen was not actually an official Taxi driver as he no affiliation to the registered companies – this meant he didn’t pay tax and had to avoid police (whom he paid off if he had to) - this sometimes led to impromptu extended journeys as he tried to dodge the coppers ”no meter now mr semen - must avoid problem for a short time - sorry”. This could be a problem at times.

Another problem was that his car was a piece of shit.

Tuyen and I usually try to outdo each other in confuscious style comments concerning the art of “fishing” with the fairer sex:

“the fish that take long time to catch taste much better - hungry fish not taste good”

“yes, he who catch fish at end of day is much happier - than he who catch in just one hour”

“he who catch too many fish - cannot eat them all”

“he who fish in another mans well, - catch crabs”

“there are many ways to cook fish once caught”

“he who have long rod - catch many fish”

“yes he who have much money to spend on good bait - also catch many fish”

“but he who have long rod maybe not need money for bait”

“yes and some time the fish take the bait - but the fisherman not get to eat the fish”

“so he go to fish restaurant where he not need to try to catch”

“touche’”

Anyways, journeys in Taxi Tuyens cab of wonder (in so much as you wonder how it keeps going) also were chances to hear how his happy-go-lucky outlook on life had once again undeservably punished him. First there was the Slovakian Australian based businessman, who befreinded him and then “forgot” to give back $250 that he had borrowed (Tuyen was sure it was a mistake and that he will get it back when the businessman returns to Hanoi), then there was the time he went back to his village and got himself some “instant noodle”, only to return home and realise that he had lost his wallet, claiming that “maybe it fall down as I not put in my back pocket correctly” and not stopping for a second to think that the girl might have had something to do with it “no she a very nice girl I do not think she would do that” .

At the beginnig of last year, during the Tet festival when he was very, very, busy, Tuyen had a bad accident. He was very tired and did not see the motorbike carrying three people (most I’ve seen on one motorbike is 5) coming up on the outside of him – they all needed hospital treatment – a man and his son broke a few arms and legs, while the old lady had a spinal injury and needed further treatment until the end of the year. As a rule riders and drivers in Vietnam don’t have insurance – paid company drivers probably, but not average joe – therefore this accident could of been far worse if Tuyen was not the decent man that he was.

He paid $5000 for the hospital fees and treatment and found a way to get a loan from the bank to cover the money – he remained in close contact with the family and took the father and son to his village - paying for their stay and driving them around. He hoped to be able to pay off the loan by the end of the year – if you do the math there that’s a lot of money to get shot of in one year as well as paying for general existance - Vietnam is not a rich country – there was definitely more to the tale of Tuyen - because you don’t get that rich driving taxi’s.

One day he didn’t answer the phone anymore - wasn’t to be found at his regular haunts - and I never saw him again - he was a very good egg.