Sinking Doofus ….

December 17, 2005

I dunno – a lot of the good things that have come my way were due to being plucked out of a destructive situation and sent to Africa for six months to allow me to figure out what was important in life – back in 2000 - and now I’m back in the Uk typing away - charged up and thinking that if I blew my nose right now I could sell the contents for about $50 – which is not remotely any where near the path I should be taking at this point in time…. sure I feel kinda fuzzy and free right now – but fucked up as I am, I know deep down it’s not the best direction on a regular basis... I mean, after that night in London the other week, when Gali and I stayed until the wee hours up in both senses of the word – I thought that was a whole “moderation every once in a while” thing – but then this last week, when random things just gave up the smell or sensation of charles chang – I’m sensing and tapping into it once again – now after this night - after I type this here – after which it was all on display and there for the taking - and I took it gladly – in fact pushing for more like a fiend – even now fucked up as I am – I gotta know that isn't right…. Gotta get a grip on this – as good as it is…..or rather as good as it feels..... or it'll all go ski-whiff with no return...

Spo | December 17, 2005