Sing me a Samsong…

January 27, 2006

Friday is Samsong Whisky Night – everyone is now back from Thailand and we all brought back bottles of one the Far Easts finest secrets – apart from the bars of Bangkok and beyond, it’s unavailable outside Thai borders as far as I know – 80 proof/40% and drunk literally by the bucket - mixed with amphetamine fuelled Red Bull, coke and ice - Samsong is a unique kind of drinking experience – you don’t end up wasted with out of control of actions and random unexplained thought – you seem to remember most of your evening – there’s no slurring of words or impairing of ability – and unbelievably, no hangover.

Yes, no hangover.

Well not in the hangover sense of head full of rocks, movement equates to pain, dehydrated legless elephant child, breath of death, memory like a badly edited videotape, all noise sounds like frying pans falling off a mountain, take me out in the garden and shoot me and use me for fertilizer coz that’s all I’m good for.

Of course the reason it hasn’t crossed borders must be what ever it is that is in Samsong that makes you feel so good - some of its questionable ingredients are rumored to be a small amount of speed and formaldehyde - Moonbats are made of this – 0 to spastic in 45 seconds – Jabber Jibber Jabber – RAA! RAA! Juice – toast the first glass and it’s good night ladies and gentleman – see you on the other side….

Our first night arriving in Ko Samui our friend, Bear, was so far gone into the world of Samsong that he clambered up into the bars elevated cage and started pole dancing with all the vixens – running round that pole in circles like something out of Benny Hill – then he fell off the ladder but felt no pain as he bounced back up and clambered back into his cage to carry on the parade – Samsong creates events such as these that paint how you see your friends forever – 80 years old we’ll all remember Bear getting in that god damned cage – police turned up the to close the bars around 2am and he had to be heckled down from there “come down Bear! come down from there! Get down Bear! No more! Police say NO!”

Things just get really hectic and everything seems to speed up for a while – yet you remain in control – able to fly the plane in and out of the caverns of your hundred mile an hour conversations like star pilots.

Honestly, at the time, it’s like Samsong is allowing us all to realise our full potential and operate at maximum efficiency – it’s how we were supposed to be – the elixir of life – nothing can harm you and everything you say carries weight and reason – nothing is beyond your grasp.

Of course another way of saying it is that you are well and truly fucked up beyond all recognition and a full on fucking nightmare for anyone remotely in the realms of sobriety to deal with.

We’ve got 8 bottles of that God Gamned Moonbat Idiot Juice to get through between five of us – get on the boat or stay on the docks but for all that is holy please don’t watch us sail.

Spo | January 27, 2006