Nature: Sex is Dangerous

October 4, 2005

A most dangerous mating process indeed – The female marsupial mouselives for 3 to 4 years, the males only around 11 months, why?

Well, leading up to the July's 2-3 week breeding season, the male marsupial mouse’s testicles swell to ¼ of their overall body weight and this releases an inordinate amount of male testosterone into the blood stream.While this serves to give them an enormous amount of sexual appetite, it also drives them completely. The entire male population goes on a sex-crazed rampage, shagging anything mouse like and female. At the end of it all there's hardly any of the randy little buggers left.

This is because:

· Heart attacks account for quite a few - what with all that stress and worry that comes with feeling that if you aren’t shagging you are going to literally explode.

· The extra testosterone renders their immune system too weak to fight disease and illness.

· Lack of sleep and starvation: too preoccupied having sex to think about food and rest - it’s all shag, shag, shag, and shag.

· By the end of it all, more or less the entire male marsupial mouse population is stone dead – they literally shag themselves out of existence. The females breathe a sigh of relief and go about raising their new born and knitting scarves until it all kicks off again next year.

Fanfuckingtastic work, I trust you'll agree - what a way to go.

Spo | October 4, 2005