March 15, 2007
Midget Mania……
Question: Is there anything funnier on this earth than a Midget?
Answer: Only More Midgets.
Midgets - funny little fuckers aren’t they? - never seen an old one though - Half the size, half the life I guess - and not many Black or Chinese ones either..... in fact, generally I think there used to be a lot more of the little blighters around than nowadays - like they got one midget and digitally duplicated him for the new Charlie Chocolate Factory thing - maybe they couldn’t find enough Umpa Lumpa’s like they could before?
Hope they aren’t dying out - that would be awful - but apparently in the same way that if you killed all Donkeys in the world they would not be extinct as two horses can still fuck and make a donkey, the same applies to midgets.
Not Horses making midgets though - people can make midgets apparently - two people can make a midget - so they will never die out.
Thank god - a world without midgets would be a world without laughter.
Their little squeaky voices and little Tyrannosaurus arms - Oh midgets!
One of my greatest ever TV moments was the Littlest Groom hosted by Dani Behr (who used to host the Word on C4) - it was like the Bachelorette thing except this little man midget had to choose a wife from 12 other woman midgets - the best part being they went on specific midget style dates like shetland pony riding and very-mini golf - and then they introduced three tall playboy bunny bikini babes into the mix and little midget dude went for a hot-tub with them looking literally like a child at Christmas - the midget girls were spitting fury at that one.
Oh midgets!
Click here for Midget Mania - a collection of clips of the greatest midgets of all time.
Spo | March 15, 2007
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