Late in the day….

September 13, 2005

She came right up to me – we’d apparently spoken before – served me maybe - but I’m always wasted by the time I reach this bar - I faked that I remembered and she saw through it – we were arguing and we just met – I liked her immensely – she had character and was far more attractive than any woman I had a right to be talking to – I smile all the time apparently – and my eyes are crystal blue – always drunk she says – but charmingly so…

...but still, straight off she’s got me fighting to convince her I’m different from the rest – she came to me right? but still she’s saying what if I am this, that, the other? – she seems to run the place and has seen too much – meanwhile I’ve seen too many doubles leading to a lack of willingness to pursue down such dark alleys:

look what can I say? Maybe you’ll be surprised, maybe you won’t – nothing I can do to prove either way right now

- her eyes don’t say mistrust they say contemplating –

so later I say: ok give me your number then, I’ll call you

no you won’t

well take my number and call me if you want

do you want me to?

would I of been talking with you for an hour if I didn’t?

I don’t think you want me to call

you’re so good with the future, you got any lottery advice?

now you are being sarcastic

hey, I’m just saying future isn’t set how you think - look take the number, call me tomorrow, I’ll come by I promise, but right now I gotta leave

you are drunk, you shouldn’t drive

I’m not driving, that’s why I gotta go, my lift will only wait so long, come with me if you want?

I’ll call you instead

glad we got that settled

That sounds like a typical conversation between man and woman the world over – along the lines of a time I remember Hanh wanted me to go to a wedding in Nam:

“I’ll go then”

“don’t”

“you just spent the last hour telling me I should”

“I don’t want you to come if you don’t want to go”

“I’ll come to make you happy”

“you want to come so I won’t be mad, that’s not the same”

“ok now I’m lost, do you want me to come or not? ”

“no”

“fine, I’ll stay here”

“you never do anything for me, you are all about yourself”

Man stands yet again perplexed by woman, wondering if there is any way you can get them to talk straight.

Anyways, Sunday she called late on in the afternoon – Cella had gone by then and I was thinking about more sleep, but I remembered the conversation from the night before and she had me hooked – I couldn’t remember what we talked about entirely, but if she was calling then what ever I’d said, I’d obviously not made myself out to be too much of a numb-nut.

I didn’t pay the bar bill

Aha

was that her reason for calling?? Apparently not…she knew I’d be back at some point and the manager wasn’t worried….. hmmmm…. said she did want to see me – said she had the run of the place….

I had to meet the Japanese at 10am the next day and with Sunday the day of rest and all, I intended to call in at the bar for only a few - restore my name from tab-jumper – I was only supposed to blow the bloody doors off but instead ignited the whole damn thing – I doubled my previous tab as I embarked on the trail of the Spo White Russians all night – she played a mean game of pool – she sang with the house band - we took advantage of the lack of senior management, only a few customers and also the privacy of elevators.

3am we slept – 6am we woke – 7am we slept – 830am I was getting up for work as Neh Neh (maid and surrogate mother) arrived – the girl donned my Vietnamese samurai silk cloak of wonder (I shit thee not) and swapped stories – Neh Neh liked her immensely as well – gave the seal of approval so to speak.

No sleep all day I wanted to call off the Monday evening planned – but that was exactly what she said I’d do – I was to prove that I was not a one thing hunter lacking respect as she said – yeah ok – I’ll be there – the drink, food, cinema, bar thing.

She’s late and I’m not feeling great – tempted to let the frustrated fur fly and hail a taxi – bit the lip and went book hunting instead – mulled it over – nothing to be gained from getting the gripe on – listen to her reason, hold off on the pantomime – I found the re-mix of Bloc Parties the Silent Album (my album of the year) and sat and read Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted in the bookstore – 50 pages in, I’m hooked – class A writing - enjoyed her ironic lateness in the end.

When she arrived there were reasons and apologies – talk of family – cool n de gang – I was feeling easy going and tired and told myself don’t be an asshole about it and get on with the night – besides she looked even better than before and I told her as much – hair down with the thin rimmed rectangular glasses adding a Maggie Gyllenhaal secretarial touch – she told more tales of her life as we ripped the F-Bar band to pieces and I tried not to get caught admiring the singers fine form by accident (we men – it is instinct to look at fine art – but we honestly take it in with our eyes rather than unhook it from were it hangs, take it home to pin it to the bedroom wall – yet that never gets us out of jail when caught admiring) – night of drinks, food, the Skeleton Key in cinematic lazy boy luxury before back to mine.

I said goodbye to her this morning as I dropped her off on the way to work – she’s got lates 6 days now – sometimes till 1am, sometimes till 5am – Sundays & Mondays are the days – how many of those have I got left before October 27th?

She’s fluent in Japanese, German, Portuguese and English all of which she taught herself through the love of language and dedication – she speaks local dialect from all around Java island as a result of the places her parents grew up – her parents are divorced and she loves both fiercely – she also loves her 6 year old daughter just as strong – from a marriage that didn’t work when she was 19 – another near marriage with a German diplomat didn’t work either – but it took her to Hamburg and then Rio for a time – until Rio took him and he was not the same man.

At times she’s working 3 jobs – kindergarten teacher, Bahasa teacher and bar manager - she’s looking at a damn fine offer to go to an island off Thailand, run the restaurant and bar at Laguna Beach resort - but she’s worried about working away from her girl – she’s got strong political and social opinions on the rights and wrongs of this country and she screams in all the right places during horror movies – she’s 25 and she’s mighty fine and it’s not easy leaving her in the morning.

And I’ve got to meet her now rather than 9 months ago…. Knights of Colombus! fate & timing out of synch once again….