Isn’t that Winston?…..

September 26, 2006

Channel Flicking the other day I came across one of my all time top ten B-movies No Escape starring one of my all time top ten B-movie actors Ray Liotta - good old pasty moon faced sweat ball Liotta - so fucking outstanding as Henry Hill in Goodfella's and then never quite got back up to that kind of level but made a living off the quick to temper psycho/cop schtick in flicks like Unlawful Entry, Turbulence, Hannibal, Narc and erm.... Opertaion Dumbo Drop.

So Liotta has a problem with authority, blows away his psycho army colonel for moral reasons of righteousness and ends up in a privately run maximum security prison doing life - yet this place cannot hold the angry ball of sweat that is Ray Liotta - no one tells him what to do - plus he's sarcastic and scary - so he gets dumped on a remote island where all the worlds most hardened criminals are secretly sent and left to riot and rot, indulging in Lord of the Flies type good vs evil shenanigans.

You've got the cannibalistic forest folk called the outsiders, who seem to have regressed back to the Neanderthal age and jump around making monkey noises and biting each other - that is until angry yet witty resident bad guy from Lethal Weapon 3 leader bean shoots a few of them while cracking a few jokes and tells them to behave - and you've got the actually quite nice and humorously clever passive folk who knit clothing, keep a farm and have an Ewok village type scenario run by Bishop from Aliens whom they all call "the Father".

Winston from Ghostbusters seems to have ended up there - Inspector Wycliffe off old Sunday Telly is there too - and so has a post platoon pre-punished by drugs and drink Kevin Dillon, who at the time seemed to think that being a sort of mirror-yet-mongoloid version of brother Matt will win him stardom - It didn't - Although I'll always remember him for that famous quote from Platoon "Holy shit, d'you see that fuckin' head come apart, man? "

And along with the above there's a midget.

Yes that's right a midget.

First you have a maximum security prison that is a last resort for criminals society just can't control - then when that maximum security prison can't handle them, they get chucked out a helicopter onto the island of no return - we're talking serious bad ass mother fuckers here surely? We're talking double figure serial killers and baby eaters that can't be reasoned with right? and they've got a fucking midget on the island? Winston from Ghostbusters I can almost believe, as he's a big fucker by the time they filmed this - you wouldn't fuck with Winston - and maybe Wycliffe because he says he built huge terrorist bombs for money so, Ok, he got his just rewards- but the fucking midget?

What the fuck could that midget of done to get on the worlds worst list?

Maybe he was one of the Little Cigars. maybe he broke into a zoo and butt-humped a chimp to death.... maybe he was a horny elf that went too far at the pantomime... maybe he stole a kids toy tractor and demolished a model viallge..... who knows...

Spo | September 26, 2006