How to have a Salubrious Say Sorry Sunday…

September 26, 2005

How to have a Salubrious Say Sorry Sunday…

Don’t worry – I know the way past the firewalls of female fury is not by bringing gifts of Steak dinners and tickets to Zombie films – I apologised in a much more refined manner suited to the English Gentleman I occasionally impersonate:

First of all I did 1am pick up after she finished work on Saturday night and bought all her friends drinks as well as leaving a healthy tip for her collective co-workers
Then I took her to Burgundy – live music in a smooth, classy little haven of sophistication at the Hyatt Hotel and we worked on a bottle of Absolut.
Sunday morning I put in a sustained acrobatic bedroom performance that Ron Jeremy may call “heroic”, would make Mickey Rourke proud and lead the Great Ron Burgundy to exclaim ”Great Odins Raven! He’s taken her to pleasure town!”
Then I took her for the Intercontinental champagne brunch, were we ate all we could and never turned down a top up
After which I took her to the Lazy-Boy luxury cinema and watched the Wedding Crashers while moderately fuzzy and mildly wasted – consequently laughing louder and harder than anyone else in the theatre.
example: Vince Vaughn’s Jeremy Grey: [speaking to the priest] “This girl’s fit for a strait-jacket. I mean she’s fucked three ways to the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it!”
Dropped her at work afterwards – she admitted later on that she went and hid upstairs and got some sleep in the store room. I went home ordered pizza, necked a bottle of wine, watched Lords Of Dog Town on DVD (Emile Hirsch is going to be very, very famous soon) and toasted a job well done.

And that is how I really said sorry for getting drunk and falling asleep leaving her all dressed up and nowhere to go on Friday night - you people should have more faith in me.

Spo | September 26, 2005