Engine Problem…..

January 30, 2007

..... and the problem is that I am in control of it.

I don’t mix well with vehicles - many people know this - I know this - and the car they have me driving over here is a 4x4 Pajero monster - this thing is Humongous - and that is not a word I use lightly - it’s a fucking beast of note - the width, the length, the power - I’ve never been savvy with engine sizes, litre injections and all that Mcguffin - I don’t know much at all about cars to be honest - no idea how they work or how they do what they do - don’t know names etc etc - key goes in - you turn it - press pedals and buttons along with flicking levers - point it in the right direction and try and let people know your intentions - end of - but what I do know is that this is a powerful monster of a car and you can end up doing 150kmph without even noticing - and on the roads of Malawi that is very fucking dangerous.

So far I’ve busted the front tyre driving in that Friday storm - I’ve seemed to have managed to do something to the internal battery as well, invloved jump lead type situations and I am not someone you want around electrics and wires but we’ve got a new battery sorted now - and I’ve got to get the fan-belt replaced as that has started shrieking all over town due to me exerting the engine or something - but last few days I’ve got comfortable with the feel of the thing - where as before I’d worry about every pot-hole, every corner, every dodgy traffic light and all the make your own rules junctions - now I kind of know what I’m doing and am driving the thing with more confidence.

This is not a good thing however - thinking I’ve mastered the art of the beast when in fact I am still a mere kindergarten pupil has led to some rather heinous errors today.

First was pulling out too quick onto a main road - then regretting it, trying to reverse before crunching to a halt quick fast when I heard the horn of the guy behind me - petrified I was going to reverse all the way over his corrola and crush it like a coke can (although to be fair he shouldn’t of been tailgaiting and I did stop before actually doing any real damage - but that was due to his blaring horn I suppose)

Second was heading out tonight were the front and back left hand tyres slipped off the down hill road and into the drainage gulley - the road had worn away and I was trying to make sure I was as far over as possible due to a truck coming the other way - car jackknifed a bit and I nearly hit the truck side on but got my game back to straighten out and shoot on through - bit of a freak out though.

Then heading back from Limbe just now I lost my bearings, followed the wrong split in the road and drove the wrong way down a dual carriage way.

Yup.

This is the second time this has happened - the first being a slip road in Southampton and I still remember the aghast disbelieving faces of oncoming drivers as they passed before I did a quick U-turn and scampered back up the way I came - hoping no-one else was coming the other way.

Tonight wasn’t so bad as it was late and the road was relatively deserted - although you have to take into consideration the stupidity factor of the majority of Malawian drivers here (although obviously I am not one to talk) and the fact that even though I am attempting a three point turn facing the wrong way on a dual carriage way, this may not deter oncoming drivers from actually slowing down when approaching me as they would in UK.

It was pretty hairy though - just because it was dark and the road design was perplexing - I carried on a 150-200 yards or so before I figured it out - and then it was a case of..... could I make it to the end without anyone noticing????......

Doofus.

Fuck - it’s matter of time before that car and myself have a serious falling out isn’t it?

Spo | January 30, 2007

Comments on Engine Problem…..

spectacular driving fuckwittery! Its not the hippos you should be worrying about is it?

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