Always laughed at how my brother looked like that little long haired hippy kid fighting his way through the crowded party in the classic video.


Death Cab follows and a track that has a line about every love that could’ve been If i’d only thought of something charming to say.


I went past the place I used to work when I was 18 today - clothing mail order company - gaggle of worn down women sniping behind each others backs as soon as one left the room - taking phone orders for ill fitting cardigans and tweed jackets for the elderly and misguided.


In the middle of it all, Kirsty and I used to conjure cheque cashing scams and quietly sloped off for Mari-jo and munchies at lunchtimes - only to return in a dub daze haze and spend the rest of the time dodging the fierce Chinese Gestapo style whip-cracker who managed the office.


Kirsty always did take her smoke better than me - perhaps she spent so much more of her time stoned that no one really saw any other side of her. I would go all panda eyed and red-Chinese and have to go and hide in the warehouse.


We bought our first ever big batch of Mari-jo together - she put up the cash (and smoked her profit) while I took care of sales and distribution - started out badly when I stored 11 ounces in my parents loft and the weight dropped due to the bags sweating around all that insulation - schoolboy error - in the end we blagged our way to success though - an entertaining entrepreneurial relationship was born that would become the cornerstone of local quality for years to come.


Then the Cheques - she handled the double refunds and I the fake orders - we seriously abused that no questions asked returns policy.


I’ d hang on her calls and drop everything whenever she turned up - close friends could see it wasn’ t going where I hoped and I’ d resent them for their advice - sure, I wasn’ t stupid, but I was choosing to see more of what I wanted than what was really there - lying in wheat fields getting high all afternoon together, talking about life on the moon and how we’ d travel to India and go get us some of that fine chariss they like smoking so much of - eventually I would tell her I thought loved her and that would be the end of that.


Over the weekend during a no doubt drunken moment I don’ t recall - I sent Hanh a message - she’ s with family on maternity leave staying out by the sea a while - baby boy is doing fine - couple of months old now - I began by saying I wanted them both here with me - when ever she wanted to I’ d be ready - that I loved her - she replied saying how happy that made her - that she knew that’ s a big word for me - that we had a really special time that cannot be forgotten.


One that I remember for all the right reasons - and perhaps choose to forget the wrong ones.


And all you see is where else you could be
When you’re at home